Small Makes

 

In the quiet time, between the holidays and when the grind starts up again, I’ve been equally quiet, equally resting. The methotrexate is emphatically not working at all at this point - my hands look like blown up rubber gloves, my knees and elbows like tennis balls. And a communication snafu at the rheumatologist has left me this way for weeks. And it looks to be weeks more before something changes on their end, hopefully for the better.

It’s a hard place to be in. While society gets ready to launch itself into a new year with new resolutions and plans, I’m… not. I am looking around, trying to find what keeps me grounded and content, despite the pain and worry. Despite externals I can’t control, and internals that are uncontrollable. And in that place, I find tiny, little things. Like how a few years ago (back when I could sew without my legs going numb), I made that headphone holder above. Just a bit of spare ribbon and a snap. Or how, fed up with a neck strap which exacerbated my neck issues, I managed to make a wrist strap out of the spare string our weekly veg box came in. It isn’t impressive, and it doesn’t have to be. It’s something. Something good and useful. And right now, that’s enough.